Congrats New Orleans !

Who Dat ? You showed them , that's who. Congrats...although it was hard seeing Peyton Manning almost cry.

A Song For You Lovies

Day Of Contemplation

I took the day off from work today. I just don't want to participate. I'm in a weird place today. A little sick with a sore throat and sinus , but mostly just feel a little blah about work. Lately feeling a little apathetic about my job.

It has become a stressful environment due to some new managers having taken over my project and many , many design problems from the engineering department. I can't speak to details about my job here, but it is a very technical job to sat the least.

The truth is , my heart just isn't into it anymore. It's what I am trained to do. It is what I went to college for, but it is no longer what I want.

I have changed , and my interest have changed. I find all the technical parts of my job to be tedious and stressful now. I get impatient quickly when things don't go right. It pays well and I have good benefits, and I am oh so grateful to have a good job, but.....

oh that eternal but.

Some deep important part of me wants something more creative , more artistic. I never really nurtured that artistic part of myself, and now she is clamoring to be heard, to be seen ,to be let loose, to do what she will.

I want to take photographs and to write poems and to make things with my hands. It's like a new me is emerging and she demands to be front and center.

When I am in the lab, I am quiet and working hard, but my heart just isn't there any longer. I feel a bit like a fraud there now, pretending to be who they still think I am. I still do the work , but with a wandering focus. It is a struggle.

I need my job for financial security , so I guess the question is how do I integrate the artistic and still make a living? How do I not let fear hold me back.? Do I take a leap into the unknown or just stay with what I know? These are hard questions to ask of myself. I know it is all part of the human condition and sometimes I am afraid that I will grow old , and then ask myself why didn't I just take a leap of faith.

My grandma once said to me, "When you are on your death bed, you wont be thinking about your work ,you will be thinking about who you love ,and if you really lived your life, and how you treated others."

I always think about that statement and the innate truth in it when I feel like this. Thank God for grandmotherly wisdom.

Around My House Again

This is a shelf in my office that is right over my computer. I made the two shadow boxes and the Mary- baby Jesus, picture was a Christmas card I framed years ago, because it comforts me to look at it. I also have chunks of amethyst all over my house. It is a healing stone for me.

Hot peppers I canned this past summer. ( I am a woman of many talents!)

I sent Matt to the store for a pan this morning, he came home with the pan and these ! How sweet !
A good friend made me this pillow by hand a few years ago for my birthday. I am half french so people give me a lot of Paris "stuff ".

This "stuff" sits on the counter near my stove. (more Paris stuff) Anyway I am still learning my new camera and waiting for beautiful weather again to really get out and do some serious shooting , but in the meantime it is fun to do the little still life's around the house.

Pictures Taken Around My Home